To say that things
have been crazy is an understatement! I was prepared for motherhood, or so I
thought, but I was not prepared for this! Get ready for a novel, because it has
been a LONG 3 months!
Things were going
great and my maternity leave was becoming a lot more enjoyable after getting
into a solid routine. We would start the day with a feed in the morning
followed by an hour or two nap, sometimes for the both of us! He would wake up
and we would do another feed and then spend an hour or so playing in his
activity mat or just making silly songs and faces to try and get a smile. He
would pass out soon after, and allow me some chore/shower time. He would wake
and then feed, and then it was nearly time for everyone to be home. The nights
were split between loving on mom, dad, grandma, and sister. Late nights were a
bit rough as it was difficult not to worry and stress if he was breathing, and
then when I did manage to fall asleep, he would wake me up soon after to feed.
And then we would start the whole day over again. We mixed in some outdoor
walks, Rylan and Mommy dates out on the town and lots of cuddle time in
between. They tell you that those 2 months fly by, and they sure did! My
maternity leave was over before I knew it!
I went back to work
shortly before he turned 2 months. My mom had been laid off from her job and
offered to watch him for a few months until the new year to allow us time to
save for daycare. I always said that I didn’t think I wanted to be a stay at
home mom, that I wanted the kiddo and the career…..I.was.wrong! Going back to
work was the hardest thing I had done. I cried the whole weekend before, and
that morning, and all through work. It was miserable, but a lot more bearable since
I could call and video chat when I was pumping throughout the day. He went from
EBF to bottle fed with breast milk, so I pump 3 times a day at work to maintain
his supply at home with my mom. Here is where everything fell apart.
A week after getting
into the new routine of working and my mom watching him, he began to act weird
during feedings. My mom and I noticed that he was choking a bit on his bottles.
I consulted the pediatrician and she said that he probably has acid reflux
since he had other symptoms led her to that diagnosis. They gave us Zantac to
start on right before Thanksgiving. That weekend, he and I went for a little
day date and went to the mall and a few other places to Christmas shop. We went
to the nursing room at the mall, and during his feed, he started to choke a
bit. I was frustrated because we had been giving him the Zantac, but we did
skip a dose, so I brushed it off. On Monday November 26, before I left for work,
I fed Rylan as I do, and he choked a couple of times. It was only for a moment
or two, but caught his breath, cried for a few seconds and then went back to
eating. I told my mom about it and then left for work. Around 10am, she called
me and said that he has been choking non-stop during his bottle feed and it
worried her. I told her that I would call the pediatrician and she told me to
wait, that she would see if he was just congested. About 10 min later, I got a
call that shook my world. She told me to call 911, that he was choking and
having a hard time breathing. My heart dropped and I instantly felt sick and panicked.
I grabbed my work phone and dialed 911, but got a message that they had a high
call volume. I slammed down my phone, grabbed my purse, cell and keys,
frantically told my boss that I was leaving and why, and flew down the steps to
my car. As I was rushing out, I called again and it turned out my mom did to
and there were already paramedics at the house. When my mom called, he stopped
breathing, went limp and his eyes rolled back. The dispatcher helped my mom get
his breath back and the paramedics showed up instantly and gave him oxygen.
After I got to the house, they told me he was doing good but still needed to go
to the hospital. We got everything together and headed to Memorial North, where
I gave birth.
After waiting at
Memorial North for 2 hours, they told us that he needed to be seen at the main
location downtown as they had a pediatric wing, so that’s where we went. After
a night stay in the hospital and a swallow study later, we found out that Rylan
was silently aspirating every consistency of liquid, from thin like breast
milk, to really thick with additives. The esophagus and trachea (windpipe) are
right next to each other and when we was eating, some would go to his stomach
and some would go to his lungs. They deemed him not safe to eat by mouth and
told us he needed to be on a feeding tube for the foreseeable future. That was devastating!
My heart broke for him. My little man has been through so much in his short
little life, and this is the last thing I wanted. We spent a total of a week in
the hospital and had several tests done and met with several specialists to see
if there was a reason why. Everything came back inconclusive. He wasn’t at the
weight he should be (At 2 months, he was 9 pounds 6 ounces) and because the
feeding tube placement required surgery, he had to wait 2 weeks to get stronger
and gain more weight. So we left the hospital with an NG tube (Tube going from
his nose down his throat to his stomach) and returned 2 weeks later for his G
Tube surgery.
I am so proud of how
well my little nugget is doing, he is so strong and so brave and I love him so
much! He has been doing great with his tube, and is now 10 pounds 1 ounce and
growing! We celebrated his First Christmas and First New Years by seeing Santa,
getting family pictures, looking at Christmas lights, going to Church
Candlelight service, seeing family and friends, and just spending time together
and loving up on him!
As for development,
his is rocking it! Little man can hold his head up great, talks a ton (coo’s
and grunts), smiles, and has even laughed! He can grab things, including his
binky and put it back into his mouth. Even though my son is now special needs
and life has taken us down this path we are currently on, I wouldn’t trade it
for the world. I love him so much; I would go through anything for him! We have
appointments with specialists that will help us create a plan for his future,
but I hope and pray that he doesn’t have to be on this feeding tube for long. I
want him to have the best and brightest future possible and live life as a
normal baby. He deserves the world and more! I will try and be better and updates in the
future, I’m just lucky enough to find time today to write this!
