Different Destination

I took this class in college that went towards my Early Childhood Education degree that was called, ‘The Exceptional Child’. This class was about children with special needs and taught inclusion in the classroom. We had this wonderful woman in one day to speak to us about the challenges her son with Down Syndrome goes through and how to incorporate his challenges within the classroom for him to be successful. She started the discussion with a letter she had written, it was called, ‘My Trip to Holland’. The synopsis of the letter was how she planned her trip to Paris (TTC), prepared for fabulous Paris by packing and boarding the plane (Pregnancy), but upon arrival, realized that she was in fact in Holland. Not quite her destination or what she had planned on, but still was an amazing journey that changed her life. A truly inspirational story that really helped me this week and was weighing heavily on my heart.

 I went last Thursday for my very invasive test, which is also known as an HSG. It is a test to see if my fallopian tubes were blocked, and if they were, it would unblock it and hopefully allow me to be successful in TTC or an IUI. I went in at 7:30am for the test. I will say, this test was far more painful than expected. Thankfully, it only lasted about 6 minutes. I finished up and headed back to work. I got a call about an hour later from my doctor who wanted me to go to her office so she could personally re-run the test as she saw an abnormality and wanted to check it herself. She sacrificed her lunch hour to get me in, so I nervously agreed. As I laid on the table going through another round of intense pain, my mind was racing with all of the possibilities this abnormality could be, and wondered if I could in fact get pregnant. After the exam, we headed to her office and she told me her findings. I was diagnosed with a Unicornuate Uterus. It is a rare uterine abnormality that happens in about 3% of the population. Essentially, as I was forming in the womb, my uterus never grew together like normal babies, it instead stayed as one and the other never formed. I have half a uterus and one fallopian tube. I do however, have two functioning ovaries, and a normal looking cervix. I also found out that it is typical for people with UU to have only one kidney, which I will get a scan of to confirm if this is the case. Along with all of this, I also found out I have a mass in my cervix and will need a Hysteroscopy to get it removed, as it is probably blocking anything from implanting. So what does this mean for conceiving? Actually, nothing. I can still conceive, it will just be a bit harder as I only have one tube and will have to time it with precise monitoring. I am also still able to go for an IUI which should help a ton! The concern now is what happens after I conceive. My chances of miscarriage are about the same as any other woman in early pregnancy, however, it increases as I get further into my pregnancy as I only have half the space for the fetus to grow. I would have to see a high-risk OBGYN to monitor me through the 2^nd and 3^rd trimester. I was at a loss for words and completely shocked at this news. Never in my life did I think that I could have such an abnormality. This news gave me perspective into the reasoning why I was having a hard time getting pregnant, and helped me reach the conclusion that I need to find another OBGYN. My RE is absolutely incredible and treats me not like a patient, but a friend. She tells me like it is, is truly concerned for me, and takes the time to thoroughly test and to listen/talk to me about my concerns. I am so angry at the time and energy wasted on my current OBGYN. I now know what a good doctor looks like! 

My life has now completely changed. I had just arrived in Holland. While I am still able to get pregnant, we have now been re-routed to a different path with a whole new set of obstacles. Would I change anything if I could? No. While it is a lot to take in, and now I feel more like a Frankenstein creature than ever before, I count myself lucky that it wasn’t anything more sever. I am still able to get pregnant, and there are a multitude of women out there who have my condition and go on to have multiple successful pregnancies and deliveries. I am feeling confident and hopeful. This may not be as easy as I thought it would be, I am ready for the challenge! I still thank God every day for the many blessing bestowed upon my life, and I know, in my heart, he will give me the desires of my heart! I just have to be patient and enjoy the ride!

On the road again....

This is all happening so fast, I LOVE it! To fill you in, I went to see the reproductive endocrinologist and the University of Colorado Advanced Reproductive Medicine on Thursday the 29^th. It was an extremely good visit, but my head is still spinning with everything that is going on! So we did our initial consultation where we laid everything out there. I left nothing out and she even counseled us on a few things I hadn’t thought of. I am in love with this wonderful doctor. She is so knowledgeable, so caring, and is extremely blunt, which is what we needed. She told me she wanted to do some testing before going straight to the IUI in case there were some underlying concerns or things that may prevent the IUI from taking. She got me immediately into a room to do a pelvic ultrasound to check that my uterus, cervix, and ovaries looked good and that there were no cysts. She had a slight concern as to if I had PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). After about 10 minutes, she said that all looked good. She scheduled a blood test for the next day and one for CD21 to check progesterone levels. She feels that I am likely ovulating on my own since I have normal cycles every month, but I kind of doubt that I am, so we shall see. I am also scheduled to do a HSG test tomorrow at 7am, this one has me worried not only for the outcome, but for the exam itself. The HSG is a lovely test where I am probed and prodded to check for fallopian tube blockage. I heard that it is quite painful, and even more so if they are blocked. But I also heard that sometimes, if they are blocked and the blockage is removed, that you can become ‘super fertile’. Again, we shall see. Got my blood test back today and everything looked good except for low Vitamin D levels, which I need a supplement for, and elevated Prolactin levels, which may mean that I am not ovulating on my own. A retest for this will be done on the same day as my CD21 test. Good news is that I was negative on PCOS, my insulin resistance level was normal! So this will be quite a month for testing! Uncomfortable and slightly painful, but all absolutely worth it! Once these are done and D has to give his ‘sample’ for an analysis, we will reconvene for a visit to go over everything and come up with a plan. So we could potentially be doing an IUI in the next few months!! Whoever reads this, please keep us in your prayers! I am so excited but equally nervous! I am so thankful that I get to be on this path yet again, and even more blessed for the wonderful man who is standing beside me through it! He has been incredibly encouraging and supportive, it amazes me! Even today, I told him over text that my invasive test is tomorrow, and he reminded me to take my ibuprofen like the doctor said before hand. The fact that he remember that, my lovely little absent minded love, was proof that this matters to him and the he was listening to every word. I am honestly so incredibly happy, I have this perma-grin on my face! So for now, I will be continuing down this road of infertility with hope and love in my heart and will be sure to give many updates as anyone who has gone through this stuff knows, it is a long journey, but will all be worth it in the end!