It’s been a while, nothing much has changed, but at least I
am in better spirits. In the last month, I have had a lot of ups and downs, a
lot of anger, depression, sadness, and confusion. It has taken a while to sort
that out and come up with a reasonable
plan of action. First on the list was a trip to my doctors. I had my
appointment on Wednesday for a consultation. She met me with kindness and
understanding and some empathy. It made me feel nice and comforted. She asked
me what I would like to do from here. I told her that I didn’t think IVF was
something I could pull off right now. D has a new and better paying job, so
maybe somewhere in the near future it could be an option, but not right now. I
told her that if she thought it was worth a try, we could try another cycle or
two with injectables and IUI. We both agreed that would be our course of action, but
with a few modifications. She said that she thinks if I lost some weight, it
might have a better overall chance of taking. We had a nice discussion about
weight and its effects on fertility. It put things into perspective and gave me
the drive and motivation I needed. So, my goal is to lose 50 pounds within 6
months. That, paired with some supplements and healthy eating are the new
things we are going to try. So I will be taking time off from this journey to
start a new health and fitness journey. I am kind of looking forward to it. Not
only will I be healthier, but I can get new clothes, feel better about myself,
and take a break from the craziness of trying to conceive. Both physically and
mentally, this is what I needed. And I couldn’t be happier. I look forward to
this journey, and I look forward to trying again soon. I think I will be in a
better overall place and I already feel more hopeful. Things are starting to
look up and not feel so chaotic. The smile is slowly returning to my face! :)
