The bright side of things

So things didn't go according to plan, rarely do they ever, but that is okay. The unanimous vote for this month was a resounding no. A little more time was needed for both and I am truly okay with it. Truth be told, I am a little nervous and anxious, and I felt ill prepared. The past few weeks have been insane with work and schedules and figuring out a new routine, everything felt rushed which caused that feeling of anxiety. So rather than stress and have those feelings attached to it, we decided to push it to next month. This just means I get to drink and celebrate my 1^st anniversary of turning 29, or as others may call it, my 30^th birthday. I would have loved to be surprised on my birthday with a positive test, but a Christmas surprise works just as well J I went to a Women of Faith conference this weekend that completely changed my attitude. I learned to not stress about the specifics as I know that God will take control of it and he will provide. I no longer get too hung up on deadlines or timelines. I now focus on the fact that I am back at this place where I am actually able to try again. I honestly wasn't sure I would be here, at least with man. I was almost tempted to get a donor and see what happened there. I am truly blessed with my life and how things are going, and I need to focus on that and give God my praise and all my worries. I am at a good part in my life, great in fact, and I am going to relish in that. Things will happen when they are supposed to and I am going to do my best to help them along, but I am going to continue to enjoy life and be happy for the things I do have. I still can’t believe that this is my life, that I get to share my life with an amazing man who I am so in love with. I get to spend my days not only with him, but his beautiful and wonderful daughter who I love and cherish. Couldn't ask for a better life!

To beautiful beginings

So….D and I have decided to start trying at the end of this month! I am incredibly excited and also immensely terrified! It is so strange to be back at this place but in a whole different context and a whole other part of my life. The last 2 years have been absolutely insane, and it just amazes me that I have come full circle, but in a better way. Life right now is great. Simply put. It is chaotic at times, but it is truly great! Things with D and I are moving along and we get stronger every day. He is such an important part of my life and really feels like I may have met my soul mate. We get each other and we love each other, he is my best friend, and I just couldn't imagine my life without him! Over the past 6 month, we, along with A, have become like a little family. I think that is what sparked everything. We co-parent so well together, and we have been growing so much that it opened up the gates for all of the baby talk. We have been making little references just to see the others reaction and eventually started to talk, really talk to one another about our fears and our desires. Each was a bit different than the others, but we talked things out and decided that as long as we have patience, understanding, and communication with each other, than everything else will just fall into place. We have the love, we have the desire, we just need the baby. We decided that the start of my next cycle, which is a week and a half, I will take my meds and we will give it a go. I am super nervous that they may not work, and I do not want to fall into that cycle where I break down every time I get my period. But I have faith. I feel so strongly that this will happen, maybe not the first month, but soon after. I feel like things are far better than they ever were, and I would be ecstatic to have a little one to add to our family. The fact that I am able to say those words again after all that has happened is in itself, a miracle. Looking forward to posting my journey again into this crazy world of fertility!