This has been a rough month for
me. After the loss of my wonderful doggie Kyiah, I was heartbroken. There have
been quite a few changes as well that have been hard to get used to. My mom
quit her job and decided to move to Arizona to take care of my Grandma. Now,
she has tried to do this several times before, but has never quit her job, and
she sounds more determined this time. I am glad my Grandma won't be lonely
anymore, but it still makes me sad. I wanted my mom to move out, not move states.
At least she is close enough to visit. Things with D's daughter A have been
going well. We have had her almost 3 months full time while her mother has been
in rehab. She started a new school and we have had to adjust to different
schedules, and making time to fit in homework and reading time. Been a bit
tough, but really rewarding.
So on top of everything, I have
had to deal with the impossibly difficult fertility journey! I have 2 failed
IUI's under my belt and went in for my third this last week, only, it didn't
happen. After taking Femera a fourth time, my left side refused to produce even
1 follicle. I had several big ones, just on my right side! I was so angry! I
have always been down about the way my body looks, but I have never disliked my
body more than after that day! It is so frustrating and emotionally draining! Not
only have I had 2 failed IUI's, but it was like my body giving me the middle
finger. I was speechless. I left the office feeling hopeless. I feel a little
better about it now, being on the other side of this disaster, and it has given
me time to let me body relax for a month and prepare for this month. Hopefully
the left side will get its shit together and create some damn good size
follicles! In fact, since it slacked this time, it should give the right side a
break and create all the follicles this month!!! I spoke with my doctor, and
since I had some left over Crinone from my previous dr, we are going to use it
after ovulation/IUI #3 and hope for the best! So this month it is rest and
relaxation until my cycle starts over, and then it's ON!!
