Life

I am so completely devastated and defeated. I don’t know how to make this stop and how to make him want to come back home to me, to our life. We went from trying to create a family together to him walking out on our 6 year marriage! I never thought in a million years that this would have happened! What a horrible turn of events. I am physically ill. He told me he was falling in love with this woman, this disgusting, pathetic excuse for a human being. 8 days after he walked out on my she changes her Facebook to “In a Relationship”. How absolutely disgusting! I try not to focus on it, but it is so hard! I went from knowing where my husband was all the time, how is day is, his stories, and coming home to him to talking to him once a day. I cringe when I hear his cold tone and die inside as he merely says goodbye and not I love you. I have a million questions that run through my head constantly.

 
What do they do when they are together? What do they talk about? Does he ever think about me or miss me? Are they holding hands, creating intimate moments, inside jokes, or looking into each other’s eyes? What does she tell him? What does he tell her? Do they plan their future or just live in the moment? Does he regret anything? Does he lay down and night and wonder what he is doing? Does he ever think of our life together? Does he ever think about coming back? Is he happy to get rid of me? Do they watch TV? Does she like sports? What do they wear around each other? Do they eat together? What do they eat? Do they have profound conversations? Does he tell her things like she looks beautiful or he is lucky to be with her? Does he think long term with her? Does he think about the kids? Is he running away from me or running into her arms? Does he compare me to her? Do I smell better? Do I look better? Has he kissed her? Does he think about kissing her? Does he think about doing more than kissing? Will this last? Does he want it to last? Will he cheat on her? Will he leave her for me? Will he miss her? Will I ever feel normal? Will this ever end with her? Will he come back to me? Do I want him back?

 

I don’t know what is going to happen, I just want this situation over. I want my husband to realize what he is giving up and that it is not worth it and come home to me, to his wife, his family, his life. He belongs with me, we are soul mates!