Choices

Had lunch with a friend today that I hadn’t seen in a while, and as we are catching up, she tells me that her niece has had a similar experience to mine. She has been married for only a few years and they have 2 children. He recently told her he is not happy and he is starting to see someone at work, so he moves out. She goes, files for divorce, and has been getting her life together, and now that the husband sees how she is dealing with this realizes he wants her back yet she is still going through with the divorce. As I listen, I can’t help but feel uneasy as I am choosing to do the exact opposite. I am letting him walk all over me, hurt me, abandon me, and trash me all while he is out having fun and making these choices without regard to us, our marriage, or his promise. It made me yet again question my decisions. In my heart, I am making the choices I am making not only because I love him, but because I don’t feel that marriage should be taken so lightly. I never entered into marriage for the piece of paper, I didn’t do it for financial security, and I didn’t do it because it felt like the next logical step. I did it because I love him, because he is my life, and because I wanted to spend the rest of my life with the man I love in a bond that was unbreakable. To me, marriage isn’t something you can try on and throw it away when you outgrow it, it takes work, hard work. In a marriage, divorce is not an option. That is why you stand before God himself and vow to him and each other that this is forever. If you have ever in your life thought, well if this doesn’t work out, we could always get divorced….then marriage is not for you! Things right now are at their worst, but I have never felt like I needed to give up, and I won’t. I will fight for my marriage because I believe in it and us. Every day, my heart grows heavy and breaks, but my love remains. Some might call my decision foolish but I believe in my heart that he will return. Our love is so strong, that even in the midst of all of this, we will find our way back to each other.