It's the freakin weekend....almost

I seem to not have enough time these days…it is a rare commodity. It is really funny because I noticed it was one of those things that is either feast or famine. Just a month ago I was sitting at home wallowing in a pool of self pity about how boring my life is and how I have nothing to do. Fast forward to today, and I barely have time to breathe. I have to somehow juggle spending time with D, planning/hanging with friends, spending time with my mom, work, household chores, pets, bills, and somewhere in that have time for myself! It is quite exhausting by very fun at the same time! Since the separation I really have become extremely social. In the past if I got invited somewhere, I would rationalize in my head my need for that activity and if it would interrupt my tv schedule. I can tell you that it is no longer the case. Now it is just a matter of funds that determines if I go out or not. I feel free and alive! This has probably been the most fun I have had in my life! During these past few months, I have really had a chance to discover myself and learn more about myself and the things I want out of life…total self-discovery. I look back just a few short years ago and can see a huge difference from the person I was back then. I am able to pick apart the things I didn’t like about myself and reinvent myself in a way. I think about things I did in my previous relationship and am dumbfounded at my behavior and actions. I now think of things in a completely different way, more rationally and with clarity. I try not to jump to conclusions or lose my temper so easily. I am in the process of a body transformation, so why not a transformation of the mind or the person I am. I want to give the next person the best of me, the person I know I can be, because I want my next long term relationship to work. I want to have that family. I want a husband and children, and I have no doubt that I will get there. It may not be traditional or the way I had envisioned it, but I know that I will be blessed with those things. I cannot wait to see what the future brings or what will happen with D, but I am very excited! Can’t wait to start my weekend off…gonna go see D after work and spend the night just he and I. I have a very happy heart right now!