Weekend madness

This weekend was nothing short of mind boggling. After over a month, I finally got to see my husband. The visit didn’t go exactly how I hoped, but it was still better than it could have been. I was greeted with an angry hello as he slid right passed me and dropped off the bag of dog food he said he would bring. He threw it down and started to grab his clothes. I asked if he could spare a few moments as I wanted to read him a  letter I wrote for him. He begrudgingly obliged. After letting the dog in and making his way downstairs, there we were, staring at each other. I felt like I did when I first met him. My knees were weak, my stomach doing flip flops, my palms became sweaty, and my heart was racing. I buried my face in the letter and read. I read each word passionately with a shakey voice. I handed it to him and said I didn’t need a response, just for him to listen to it and take it with him. He took it, folded it up, and put it in his pocket. All I could do was stare at him. I was taken with his looks and scent, and all I could think about was holding him. So I did it, I asked for a hug. He wrapped his arms around me and held me, and it felt amazing! This was the man I knew, this is the love I knew, this was him, simply him, and at that moment, nothing else mattered. We let go, and then he was back on his mission. He fled to the man cave and started grabbing stuff to take. In the moments that followed, I look back amazed at the strength and courage I had during this time as I still have no idea how I held it together, only to simply say, God was with me. He heard my prayer and stood by me, guided me, and filled my heart with his love. My husband almost instantaneously switched to his alter ego and made it a point to try and get me into a bad mood. He spent a few minutes firing away with things he knew would push my buttons and hurt. I retaliated a few times and felt sick that I had succumbed to his tricks. I changed my mood, took a deep breath, and began to hit him back with kindness. Anytime the topics got heated or heavy, I changed them to lighthearted ones, or random questions or updates about life. It seemed to help as time went on, his mood lightened. Towards the end, we found ourselves alone in the mancave, and I took full opportunity of that moment to uncover the truth. I told him how much I loved him and how I knew that he was coming back. He retaliated with a pretty hurtful question, “How do you know I am not going to file papers”? he said in a cocky tone. I looked at him deep in his eyes, and I just knew. I spoke honestly and from the heart and was somehow inclined to grab the bible which I still don’t understand and stand by that it was Gods will that I did that, but I simply told him that I take one look in his eyes and I know, I know that he will not go through with papers, and he will come back to me because I see the love and truth in this eyes. The love we have is strong and real, and no matter what he tells himself, his friends, or her, he loves me, is in love with me, and will regret this decision and will come back. I put my hand on the bible and said I was that sure. He kept repeating that he is done and he will get papers and he is not in love with me, but almost every time he said it, a smile slowly spread across his face. It was like his body was rejecting each lie. All I could do was smile back, and to which he said I have a gorgeous smile and I was cute. We embraced once more and I took in every moment of that. I felt courage and asked for a kiss. He said no because it would complicate things and I need to be patient. Not sure what the meaning of that was and I told him that he said no because he knows that a kiss would reveal how in love with me he was and he smiled and came back with a smart ass comment, “I’m not a piece of meat”! We let go and I let him continue on with the last of the stuff he was going to take, which ended up not being that much since he said I was distracting him, and I used that opportunity to throw in my weight loss and commented that it was my hot body that distracted him. He smiled! He took the dog for a walk and returned in an okay mood. He said goodbye but wandered around the house like he didn’t want to leave. We talked randomly for a few more minutes where we embraced again, told each other we loved one another, than he left. I felt okay about his visit, though it was hard to hear some of the stuff he was saying, and it made me miss him even more. Now let’s skip ahead to Sunday. Day started out great, went to church, got to spend time with a great friend, and then  I went back home and started surfing the web. I went on Facebook and looked at the profile of the girl whos father owns the house my husband is staying at. I could just say my husband’s friends, but he despises her. I was friends with her on Facebook merely for entertainment as her updates were so pathetic they were funny, and I loved using the pictures she put up to scare my husband, he would call her the troll on the Labyrinth and we would rudely make fun of her hideous looks. Not morally good, but it made me feel better as she is genuinely a horrible person. She is rude, two-faced, selfish, lazy, spoiled, constantly lies,  and way over confident in her looks and personality when she should not be at all. I have never liked her and neither has my husband. Her name even became synonymous with shit. We would literally say, I’m gonna go drop an _____, after her name! In any case, I look at her page and see that she is now friends with her, the woman who took my husband. I get ill, physically ill, but then laugh to myself thinking, yes, they are exactly the same, so it makes sense that they would be friends! I know how much my husband hates this chic, so it’s only a matter of time before he feels the same about this whore! I feel silly sometimes explaining to everyone that I know he is going to comeback. The evidence doesn’t look good, but I just know. Something in my heart and soul is telling me that he is going to come back. So all I can do is wait for the feelings to run out on this crazy, pathetic, lunatic, and wait for my husband to return to me. WE have a love that can stand up to anything!