P-day, D-day

I truly feel like I am going insane! Today is the day that I am supposed to start my period, and so far nothing. If you think I dealing with this well, I hate to inform you, but you are very wrong! I am struggling to keep my sanity. For nearly a year, I have been either on time, or a day early as far as my cycle goes. Granted, the day is far from over, but this is making it extremely hard to focus and even more difficult not to get my hopes up. This weekend, I have had heartburn, sore boobs, extremely tired, and a dull ache in my lower back. I started having cramps yesterday, so I thought for sure I would get the lovely arrival this morning, but nothing. Today, I still have the dull ache and more cramping, and again, nothing. I will tell you though, that nearly every time I go to the bathroom, I close my eyes and hold my breath that the tp comes out clean. I want to believe that this could be it, but I feel that if I give into any of that hope, that I will be devastated beyond belief, and I just don’t want to go through that. So here I sit, giving into my Google temptations and pouring my heart out to the blogging world, praying that by a miracle of God, I am pregnant. I can’t think of anything else I would rather have then to be blessed with a little bundle of joy! So I am crossing my fingers, wishing on stars, praying to God that we finally get the news we have been dreaming of! We shall see..........