All things relative

Paranoia is setting in every time I see a female Facebook friends status that contains the words “overjoyed”, “unexpected and excited”, or “wonderful news”. It almost always means they are pregnant, or at least it has been that way for me! I do not want to see any more updates of people getting pregnant unless it is my own! That has to be the biggest unintentional slap in the face. It simply blows! So when I saw a frenemies update about how unexpected her news was and then directly after that I see about ten emoticon smiley faces, I have to assume, she is knocked up! I don’t know how I am going to deal with another pregnant chick, let alone her! I am sure she feels that way about me, and I know I must sound completely selfish, but come on! It is this crazy baby brain I’ve got going on… anything and everything baby affects me in some way. I stare intently at pregnant women, especially the ones that look like they are going to pop at any minute, I bawl like a baby at those labor and delivery shows, I gawk at little babies while cooing without even realizing I am doing it, and I basically just assume that every woman at every minute is thinking about babies like I am. I am freakin crazy, but at least I can admit it. I mean, I even started a blog for god sake! I think this is how teenage boys feel about sex and women. I literally cannot stop thinking about pregnancy and babies, it’s like a sickness. I fear the only cure for this is pregnancy, so to that I say….BRING IT ON!