Looking up

Went back and reread my previous entry and realize how very emo that post was. I have to remind myself that I am allowed those day and not to get embarrassed by them. This week, things are going really well, and I have a much better attitude then I did. I am getting ready for my 10 year high school reunion. At first I was a little apprehensive about going because I feel that in the last 10 years, I really have nothing to show for it except for a house. My marriage failed, I weigh the same, and I have no children. But then I realized just how much I have changed as a person, and that is almost more impressive to me than a successful marriage. I am strong, independent, friendly, outgoing, personable, charming, witty, funny, and I know who I am in my life. I know the things I want, and I will get them one day. I will not apologize for anything that I am not nor the things that I do not have. Life dealt me some shitty cards, but I have become a better person for them. So I am going to rock it at the reunion!

The divorce process is coming to an end. I went in to sign the agreement for who gets what, and am pretty happy with the results of that. I got to keep the house along with 90% of the furnishings inside. I am so appreciative that I got to keep the house. It isn't anything extraordinary, but I am so proud to be a homeowner and do improvements on something that is all mine! I am a very lucky lady! With that comes the fact that I will now be poor, or house poor as they say, but I welcome that! My mom is still living with my for the time being to help with bills until I can get a bit more stable, but also while she gets stronger and healthier. I very much look forward to the day when I live on my own, I will officially feel like an adult!

Relationship with D got a little rocky there for a while....I was in my head again and trying to sort some things out and that inadvertently pushed some issues to the surface and pushed us apart just a little. I took some time this week to really think about things and came to the conclusion that I over think things! I need to stop over analyzing everything he and I do, stop worrying that he will cheat on me or hurt me, and just have fun! That is what I really got into dating for anyway! Now that he has a job that he will be starting in a few weeks, I think things are going to work themselves out. For now, I am just going to relish in the fact that I have a man who adores me, thinks I am sexy, treats me like a queen in the bedroom, and is an all around fun and remarkable person. I am lucky for that and just have to keep reminding myself that things will work out the way they are supposed to. I am excited for next weekend....my friend is leaving for vacation and offered up her house for the weekend. She lives in Manitou and D absolutely loves it there, so I am sure it will be a really fun weekend! At the very least, it will be nice to have complete privacy! I think things are finally looking up!