I guess I am at that point again, to get back on the horse and try again! I am anxious, and nervous! I want it to happen so badly and I feel like it will not happen in the timely manner I think it should. But whatever the case, I am pumped and ready to go. I need to have those days of somber depression and self pitty to get over it and realize that feeling that way will only drive those nuts around me and will not do anything to fix the situation. I will have a good attitude this month, and hope for the best, though I can't promise that I won't be in the same shitty mood around the time that pesky aunt comes to visit.
I am trying to stay as hopefull and positive as I can, but I feel like I may be coming to the end of the road in terms of options. My wonderful hubby was tested, and he is just fine, but my tests revealed that I am low on progersterone. Shocked by the findings, I learned about the "miracle" drug Clomid. My doctor recommended me for it, saying three out of four patients have concieved using the pill within the first three months! I was ecstatic! Imagine, I could be pregnant within three months! I could not wait to start taking it. The first month it wasn't the correct dosage, but by the second month, I was successfully ovulating! Well, the second month came and went without so much as one day late. Just like the second month, the third, fourth, fifth, and sixth month came, went, and left me childless. So much for the miracle! So now I feel like the other options may be just above what we can afford, and may not be feasible. I will do whatever it takes, not matter how long or how tough, but what if that still is not good enough? What if every "miracle" pill/proceedure in the world still will not allow me to concieve? I heard that God only gives you what you can handle, but I will tell you, I will NOT handle never having a child! I guess I will just have to hang on to my faith and give it to God. Here's hoping.......
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