FET Trasfer Day!!!

Do not be afraid.  Just believe.  Mark 5:36

The last few days have been so surreal, and I bounce around between being elated and terrified. But one thing calms me and centers me, and that is know that the Lord has this. I don’t have to worry and try to figure it all out, I have done what I can do, and the rest is up to Him!

A lot has happened since my last blog post, so let’s catch up! My IVF in November resulted in a total of 7 wonderful little embryo’s. 3 were 5 day, and 4 were 6 day. I was beyond excited that I have 7 little miracles. Because of how well my body responded during the IVF, they were worried about OHSS and decided that I would do a Frozen Embryo Transfer in January. Back in November, that seemed like quite a ways away still. But as everything does now days, that date came so quickly. Before I knew it, I was on Estrogen patches and Progesterone in Oil injections. I got the call on a Thursday afternoon that my transfer date would be 1/8/18.

That Friday, I began to think about how quickly my world would change in just a few short days. This could be the last time I am at work not being pregnant. That weekend was more or less the same. This could be the last family outing just the 3 of us. It was a very surreal feeling. Alongside that came a barrage of emotions thanks to my patches and injections. I drove back from a Girl Scout meeting and just burst into tears; tears that were for excitement, and worry. I have only known the disappointment side of this journey. I have been highly optimistic only to be thrown off and found myself feeling rejected and lost and hopeless. I am tired of it, and I just want this to work, more than anything in the world. That weekend went by in a haze. I occupied my time with cleaning and organizing, something I find Zen like. It was nice, and comforting.

Monday morning came. The day of my transfer! It started out really nice. I took D to work; he wasn’t able to come because of his work schedule, so I made my mom come instead. She told me that it wasn’t every day that a Mom got to be part of the conception of their Grandchild! D and I had a really fun and nice morning, and before he got out of the car, we shared a really wonderful moment together, just perfect and what I needed. The rest of the morning I had a quiet house to myself where I cleaned, did laundry, and watched some good ole HGTV! I had an eye doctor appointment at 1, and then it was off to Denver for my transfer!

The drive up to Denver with my Mom was great! We laughed and joked and both had bursts of excitement and chatting about the future. It definitely helped calm my nerves as we headed up. I arrived a bit early, popped a valium, and off we went! I had to get changed and my Mom had to put on a bunny suit to go in. By then, the valium kicked in and I was feeling great. We got into the room around 4:15p and the doctor came out to tell me that my embryo we chose looked great! About 20 minutes later, my little embaby was transferred. I was so overwhelmed with emotion I just started crying. They gave us some pics and let me rest for a few minutes, and then we were on our way back home. Riding back knowing that for the first time in my life I am actually pregnant was amazing! I felt like I was glowing and I could not stop smiling. Once we were home, I stayed in bed to rest and was waited oh (heck yes!) and taken care of!

Today, I am filled with excitement but also worry and fear. I know I still have 6 little miracle embryos in case this doesn’t work, but I really want it to. This absolutely feels like it was meant to be our baby. I have been praying all day, and talking to my little embaby, hoping that this takes. I know God has this, and He is in control. So I am giving this to Him. If it takes, it is all for His Glory and because of His mercy and grace. On January 17^th, I will find out for sure if this embaby made it. Please send prayers as well, it really would be appreciated!