Should be working......

Within the last few days, I have become extremely nervous, antsy, and very emotional. My upcoming monthly friend can be reason enough for most of it, but the fact that in about a month, I could very well be pregnant, has almost everything to do with my emotions! I am due to start my period in about 4 days. From there, I go in for an ultrasound to get the okay from my doctor, and then I start my meds. It is so surreal to be at this place in my life. I thought I was this close before, but ended up being miles away from it. Now I know exactly how close I am, and while it is ridiculously exciting, it is equally as terrifying! In a month, for the first time in my life, I could be pregnant! I think the thing that makes me the most nervous are success rates and whether or not it will work on the first try. I have this terrible habit of using Google for EVERYTHING! Google is a wonderful tool, don’t get me wrong, but when it comes to things in the medical field, it can give you horribly wrong information, or frankly, scare the living shit outta you! Always a fan of modern technology, but in this instance, I need to show some restrain and not Google every freaking thing about infertility and pregnancy! I spent countless hours last week perusing pages and pages of blogs, all from women who have gone through IUI’s hoping for some insight into this process or my success rates. There were so many combinations of people and outcomes, it really didn’t clarify anything for me! I pretty much learned that this process is not in my hands. Deciding to do it is all of the say I have in this matter. The doctors are responsible for the procedure, and it is up to God and nature for the rest to happen. All I can do is sit and wait. For an impatient person such as myself, this is torturous! I am ready for this to happen, for me to give it my all and hope/pray for the best! I am hopeful but also realistic. It may not happen on the first try, or possibly even the second, but I will not give up hope! I will be pregnant, and I will have a beautiful, wonderful, healthy and happy baby! For now, I wait. Better get used to this waiting thing! More updates to come on this grand adventure I am setting out on!