Taking time to breathe

Life has been nothing short of a whirlwind lately….it has nearly been chaos, but the good kind of chaos! D and I have had A almost every weekend for the last 4 months. It has been one of the most challenging situations of my life, but also the most rewarding! That little girl brings such joy and excitement into our life, and I wouldn’t have it any other way! It hasn’t been without struggle though. One of the most challenging things has been agreement on Parenting. For the most part, we agree on Parenting style, and we see eye to eye on the big things, but the little things add up and we bicker about those. It never gets out of control, and has actually been beneficial as we are learning this whole new experience together. The only other challenge has been her mother. A’s mom has an alcohol problem and seems to get in trouble with the law frequently. She is almost always without a job and comes with a fair share of drama. We all get along, and that has been great and makes things a lot easier. But it is increasingly difficult to send A back into that mess week after week. I just want to scoop her up and keep her away from all of that. I would never want to keep her from her mom, but I wish her mom would get it together and not put her daughter in the middle of that! I am just happy that she treats her wonderfully. She loves that little girl so much! Even with all of those challenges, it is still pretty damn amazing! We get to do so much with her, and that partially calms my baby craze, and partially enhances it! We have done movies, parks, water parks, kid festivals and events, and gatherings with other friends and their kids. I think the best moments are the ones that are so simple. Sitting downstairs as we all cuddle on the couch to watch a movie together and having her fall asleep on our laps, or just hearing her cute little voice tell you she loves you….it melts your heart! I still can’t believe that this is my life!

Amidst all of the family life changes with the kiddo, I have picked up a  part time job for the summer. I wanted to get some landscaping done as well as pay off my credit card, so I took a job on the weekends. Working 7 days a week has been exhausting, but watching my credit card debit slowly subside has been worth it! Things have just been working out so well lately, I am afraid I am dreaming and it will vanish! After taking this job, I entered a contest for Home Depot, and ended up winning the contest and getting gift cards to Home Depot….perfect timing as I wanted to landscape this year. That saved me a ton of money! This is on the heels of winning a previous contest that left me with some great Target Gift cards! The Target gift cards allowed me to get some great stuff for the house, but helped me purchase my meds and I still have some left over for future baby stuff! And speaking of the infamous B word….looks like we are getting closer to actually putting those meds to good use! We have talked about it, and I think we are going to work out and get healthy while working on our relationship in the next few months, and see where we are at in September. We are both nervous, but equally excited! So we shall see!

Everything else has been pretty great! D and I are doing amazing, minus a few hiccups here and there, but that is what makes us stronger! Every day, I fall more in love with him and still can’t believe how much I love this man and how lucky I am things happened the way they did! Life is so different from where it was a few years ago, but I wouldn’t change anything! As always, can’t wait to see what the future holds and how things play out! I have learned to just let go and enjoy the ride……well, almost have letting go down, it seems to be a constant struggle!