Making plans....

The more I have been thinking about it, the more comfortable I am feeling about the idea of trying to conceive with D. Over the past two months, things have been going really really good for us, and we have grown so much in the last month alone, and as scary as the idea was a while ago, it’s getting less scary and more exciting! I love him a lot, and the things that drove me crazy before have been working themselves out. We have been able to tackle a lot of the big problems, and the ones that are still left, we are working on and will be work on for a while. I keep thinking about what my life would look like if we were to have a child together, and as frustrating and complicated as it would be, it also looks so wonderful and amazing! I truly believe that he would be a good dad, and that he would actually stick around for us. I also believe that within a year, he should have his daughter in his life, which is something he now openly talks about and it pursuing and that makes me happy! I know it isn’t going to be all rainbows and kittens, there will be difficult times, but I still remain optimistic! I am a planner by nature, and I have been planning and making sure that if this is something I am going to pursue, than I want to make sure I am completely on board with it and I have planned for all outcomes. If it comes to it, I will be financially able to take care of a child on my own and still manage all of my bills. But again, I truly feel like he will stick with us and not run out. I have ideas for childcare and how I would raise the child. I feel like I have planned for everything as much as I can, though, if I have learned anything, it is that we can make all the plans in the world, but God has his own set of plans, and they may be completely different. I think I have come close to reaching a decision. For right now, I have ordered some testing supplies to see if I am even ovulating, which will help in determining if I need more medication than I thought. I am also going to pick up the medication that my doctor sent in to help me with my Luteal Phase Defect. I am preparing to start the process, but will not actually start it until I feel like we are both in a great place and have both agreed to this. I don’t anticipate starting it anytime soon, but it’s always nice to have everything you need just in case ;)