Going strong

Yesterday was 8 months that D and I have been dating, and I couldn’t be happier….well, that’s a lie, I COULD be happier, but at the moment, I really am happy! Things seem possible again. I feel like I could truly be happy and have a really great life! It’s crazy how it’s only been 8 months…it has flown by, but at the same time, it feels like I have known him forever! We get along really well, we have tons of fun together, and we really complement each other. Not gonna lie, it hasn’t been the easiest relationship, and we have definitely had our rough times, but we have come out stronger and better because of it. He is really easy to talk to, and when we do argue, we are able to take a step back, admit when we are wrong, and come up with solutions on how to fix it, or at least communicate better. It feels like an actual adult relationship! This relationship feels a lot different than my previous one. It is filled with passion, respect, understanding, honesty and loyalty, and a strong love. I haven’t felt this way before. I feel desired, and I desire him. We laugh, we connect, we listen, and when I am with him in a crowded room, I really feel like we are the only ones there. He stands out like a light in a dark room. He really has been the light in my life, and one of the biggest surprises! I never thought I could love again, nor did I think it was possible that I could be happy. I felt so alone, so discarded and easily replaceable. I saw everything I had dreamed about having slipping further and further away from me. It wasn’t until recently that I felt like it was finding its way back to me. This weekend, we were playing this cute video game Little Big Planet, which is a lot of fun and super cute! There are these little sock creatures that you get to dress up and change their appearance with little things you pick up along the way. We found a zombie bride and groom and changed our sock creatures into them. He made an off handed comment about me being a cute bride and for the first time, I wasn’t terrified and put off by hearing this. I actually pictured him proposing and it actually made me smile. He isn’t the ideal man, but he is perfect for me, and there are definitely things we need to work on before ever reaching that stage in our relationship, but I think I would be very happy if that ever happened! Seems strange that we talked about making a child before the marriage talk ever started. We are absolutely not the traditional couple. But I am done following the rules and sticking with tradition. I am living my life the way I feel is right, and I do deserve happiness, and I will have it. If one comes before the other, I am okay with that. I really do love D, and I could imagine a cute little life with him. Do I feel like this is a bit fast considering it’s only been 8 months? Yes and no. Yes in comparison to traditional relationships. And It is a bit fast in comparison to my last relationship, although, he moved in 6 months into dating, and we had only been dating a year when he proposed. So I guess I move fast by nature. Though I will say that I felt like I couldn’t get any better and sort of settled into that relationship because that was what I wanted. I loved him very much, but absolutely felt like I had reservations and rushed into it. With D, I feel like we are moving at a perfect pace for us and I am incredibly excited to see where this goes and what the future holds for us! For the first time in a long time, I am really optimistic about my future and it’s a great feeling!